I’m always out and about with my kids so I get my fare share of public places where I can people watch, and it is amazing to be able to physically see how judgmental new moms are of themselves. Moms at the pool in seventeen different cover-ups constantly puffing out the material around their new mom bellies. Moms at playdates continuously apologizing for their children’s behavior. Moms at restaurants incessantly shhhh’ing her kids. Moms pretty much anywhere anxiously looking left and right in case anyone saw the booger that went un-wiped, the hands that went un-washed, the pack of fruit snacks instead of fresh strawberries, the smart phone at the dinner table, the tantrum at the mall, and don’t even get me started on moms on airplanes. How do I know this? Because I was one of them. And now when I see them around me, it is so very evident what is actually going on. Us moms are our own worst enemies.
There are really two things to think about here…
- The unfortunate thing is that others are still going to judge…but the grace comes in knowing that it doesn’t matter. Even the most (almost) perfect mom in the entire world still wouldn’t be able to slip by without judgement from at least someone, so why spend your mind’s energy thinking about what others think. Once you realize others’ judgement is really not that important, it will help you stop judging your own self as much.
- If you replaced yourself as the subject of all these mom-anxiety ready-to-be- judged items and inserted the name of your best friend there instead, you would most likely tell her to stop worrying about her body, or loud kids, or junk food snacks, etc. You should start taking your own advice as if you were your best friend. This ties into one of my free tools I offer as a coach because I think transformation really begins with the notion of us becoming best friends with ourselves (sign up HERE to receive this free tool). Be gentle and loving with yourself just as you are with your best friends.
…so you, mom with the cover-ups, your body created and housed entire humans. You look amazing; you are amazing. Mom at the playdates, your kid is just a kid. He/She is awesome; you are awesome. Mom at the restaurants, your kid just isn’t aware yet of volume control; it will come with time. Moms everywhere, we aren’t perfect and by being imperfect we are actually modeling to our children that it is okay to not have to be perfect! Imagine the ripple effect this will have on their adult selves where they may hopefully not be as much of an enemy with themselves as you are with yourself! So bottom line…mama, love yourself; you deserve it.
