When I ask moms to give me their number one struggle, the most common answer (no matter the age of their children) is the pure exhaustion by the end of the day thereby leaving no time for themselves. Believe me, I get this – I had two under two, I am a single mom, I have lived through sleep regressions, I just got back from a beach ‘vacation’, etc. so I can understand the feeling. The good news is, I promise you, with small yet consistent steps, you can start to experience ‘me’ time more and more as time goes by even if your children are still babies. The general rule is to start small and work your way up, but here are some suggestions on how to get started:
- Think outside the box. You might not be able to do that daily spin class anymore and you can most likely forget any form of regular 90 minute hot yoga classes in the near future, but there are so many other options with your name on it if you simply think outside the box. Don’t be stubborn and claim that you are not a morning workout person or that you can only be held accountable if you attend an in person class (or the like). These are just excuses and were maybe true for a former self, but you are an extremely busy mama right now so many things, including your usual workouts, have changed. Can you work out at night even though you never did this before? Can you sign up for virtual on-demand classes and have a check-in buddy instead of attending an actual gym? There most likely is an answer out there, just get creative and think about all possibilities. This rule applies to all things mama (not just your workouts).
- Assess your current self-care routines and tweak accordingly. Take this Self-Care QUIZ and once you see which category you fit into, review your specific summary/suggestions and get to working on them! Remember, start small and work your way up. Literally, ten minutes a day of sipping hot tea each morning can have an exponential impact on your calmness and mood, and most importantly fulfill that desire for ‘me’ time that so many of my mamas feel they are lacking; if done consistently, these ten minutes amount to so much bliss, so imagine what your mood could be once you work up way past just ten minutes of tea!!!
- Make a list of feel goods. These have to be specific to YOU and can (should) be things that made you feel good even before kids. Once you have your list, start to analyze how you can start to incorporate these things into your now extremely busy mom life. Thinking outside the box may come in handy once again here. Maybe you are a sucker for reality TV but have yet to be able to watch anything other than Cocomelon or Paw Patrol. Once your kids go to bed, and you have six loads of laundry to fold, plop the baskets in front of your TV and catch up on Real Housewives as you tend to the laundry. Or maybe you so badly miss reading the latest fiction novels that once consumed your every summer…so get an audible membership and waterproof speakers, and start ‘reading’ again via audiobook during your shower every morning. If your kids are old enough, try signing them up to join you at one of your favorite past times – like pottery or pickleball. It may not be their usual sport or activity of choice, but it will be really special once they realize how much mom loved, loves, and will continue to love this part of herself.
With time and consistency, these tiny steps will help you feel like a priority which in turn will improve your day-to-day mood. With an improved mood comes an increase in energy, which will allow you to then make even bigger steps towards your self-care routine and your feel goods list. In no time, that exhaustion and lack of ‘me’ time you once felt will be all but a distant memory.
